Forgetting the Past is Hard to do.

So I found my 8th grade journal while digging in the garage today. Let's just say that reading it was a bit humbling. No matter how smart we think we've always been, at one time we were stupid teenagers with an impossible crush. Check this:

APRIL 19, 2003
 I didn't do much today, I thought about Clancy* again. His real name is Clancy Jones, I don't know his middle name. I really like him. I should say that I like things about him. I don't really know a ton about him. I know he plays guitar, I can kinda play the drums-- we could be a musically talented couple. He is a skater, too! He is also popular, the curse of any not super popular but not unpopular girl's crush. He seems so unattainable I know he would never go for a girl like me.

Really, Kristi!? Really? How ridiculous was that? I don't even remember thinking these things let alone writing them down. I'm blushing right now. Gosh, that's awful. The journal just gets worse from there, devolving into amateur sketches and declarations of unrequited love. I was a sad little girl.

I'll say this though, any guy I'm with will know how I feel about him. Apparently, I have lots of love to give. Crikey.

*Name changed to preserve my dignity...and his.

Bah!

I've decided that after this post I will no longer write an apology post after not blogging in forever. Blogging means never having to say you're sorry, right? Besides, it ain't no thang, I'm back now.

I love that phrase,"ain't no thang". I giggle inside every time I say it. People probably hate me. So enjoy it, this my last apology post. Sorry.

All-Hoochies Eve

What is it about Halloween that suddenly makes it okay for girls to dress like a slightly classier version of a hooker working her corner? Bees aren't sexy. They sting you and in some extreme cases even cause death. Ladybugs aren't sexy. They're bugs.

Same with the sexy maid costumes. While I understand that the thought of having someone come in and clean your house for you weekly so you don't have to inspires certain feelings, most maids I've met are older women trying to earn some "mad money". Not exactly Megan Fox.

It baffles me. And kind of makes me sick. All growing up, we had one real rule about Halloween-- we had to be something scary. I've been a ruthless witch, a heartless pirate wench, and a mystically terrifying gypsy. I think there were a few early years where we did cutesy family costumes, but that was it. I distinctly remember once asking my mom if I could be a princess. She responded with a , "you can be a zombie princess who wants to eat everyone's brains." I didn't want blood on my princess gown, so I chose something else.

I always had fun Halloweens and I never felt the need to flash the cleavage or show a massive amount of my pale thighs. For the better of everyone, ultimately. Let's keep our goodies in our treat bags, yes? Thanks.

Consistency

I suck at consistency. My follow-through has never been very good. I always have the best of intentions. I always plan on cleaning my room each day so it stays nice. I always plan on doing my laundry weekly in order to avoid a clothes pile up. I always plan on writing oodles each day. I always plan on being a better blogger. Then life gets in the way and makes everything all hinky. I'm working on it.

In Love

I'm obsessed with this version of Frou Frou's "Holding Out For A Hero". Ella Mae Bowen has a beautiful voice.

I may or may not have had an impromptu techno dance party in my underwear with my sister, while trying to clean my room. Some techno songs are really fun.

Impact

When I was a senior in high school, every student had to complete The Power of One project in order to graduate. This included a report using a specific individual to answer the question , "Does one individual have the power to change the world?" We were allowed to agree or disagree with the question, but our research needed to culminate in a 15+ page report and a 20 minute presentation given to our peers.

I chose Alice Paul, an American suffragette , who fought for a woman's right to vote.  She was an integral part to bringing about the 19th amendment. You all should check out Iron Jawed Angels, it was one of my favorite movies in high school.

I believe that one person does have the power to change the world. I believe that we all have that want, that need, inside of us to leave a mark. We want to leave something behind, to show that we were here.

It's human of us to want to leave a legacy. When I die , I want to have done something important, something worthwhile. It doesn't even have to be big. Just something that changed because of me.

All the greats in the world were just one man or woman. The marks they left started as ideas, as desires to make things different than they already were.

So do it. Get an idea and change the world. See the potential and make it happen. We all have a mark to leave, a gift to give. Let's get moving.