My Jubilate Agno

For my Brit Lit class, as a getting-know-you for the teacher, we all had to write our own version of Christopher Smart's poem Jubilate Agno. When I sat down to write it, Patrick Swayze had just passed away and I was thinking about Dirty Dancing and , Johnny Castle. I had a mad crush on him and thought it might be a fitting tribute.

My teacher chose my poem and another girl's about Cary Grant to be read in class today. It was kind of cool. I had a lot of fun writing it, so here's my poem.

Delecto a Nocens Puer (To Love A Bad Boy)

By Kristi Wallwork

For I will consider Johhny Castle.

For he wears all black, like a priest, but inspires feelings that are not suitable to have for a member of the clergy.

For he scoffs at Dancing with the Stars and would dance circles around Billy Ray Cyrus.

For firstly Chuck Norris refuses to dance in the same state as him because the awesomeness that is emitted from his moving feet counteracts the awesomeness of Chuck Norris, leaving him not awesome at all, and thus vulnerable to all the things his awesomeness protected him from in the first place.

For secondly his name is Johnny Castle.

For thirdly his name is Johnny Castle.

For fourthly he knows how to deal with spaghetti arms.

For fifthly he swivels his hips from side to side.

For sixthly he hears the music and is spirited away.

For seventhly when he and Penny dance, the world stops and takes notice.

For eighthly he is a bad boy that is oh so good.

For the way he wears his leather jacket.

For the way he busted his back window to get his keys from the car.

For his being too stubborn and cheap to wait for a locksmith before busting his back window to get his keys from the car.

For his eyes sparkled and glistened like the water in which he lifted Baby.

For he danced on a log like it was no big deal, risking life and limb to teach.

For his form is desirable to all those that are blessed to see it.

For he knows that nobody puts Baby in the corner. Ever.

For he taught a sheltered Jewish girl how to move like a Latina from Miami.

For he is loyal to his friends, even if they are stupid and fall in love with Robbie the waiter.

For Johnny Cash got the idea of wearing all black from him.

For he made it sexy for men to dance.

For he is so awesome that he was awarded a cameo in Dirty Dancing Havana Nights.

For high-waisted pants on him do not inspire vomiting as they might on other men.

For his coiffed hair was rivaled only by Elvis Presley.

For he came back for Baby and dared to make a scene.

For he turned Kellerman’s into a night club, young and old came together to drop it like it’s hot.

For he danced the final dance of the season the way he wanted to dance it.

For he smiles like he has a secret, making it hard to discern his thoughts.

For he laughs sharply, twisting every girl’s heart further around his finger.

For Fred Astaire came to him, confessing that he knew nothing and wanted Johnny’s instruction.

For Ginger Rogers merely settled for Fred Astaire , when her heart yearned to be dipped by the Irishman.

For the Catskills became less lame because Johnny Castle summered there.

For his insecurities only made him more relatable and a whole lot hotter.

For he sent girls scurrying for a dance studio, with hopes of an instructor that looked half as good as him.

For when he loved, he loved fiercely.

For his name is Johnny Castle

For he was America’s first Favorite Dancer,

For he is tanned and toned.

For he seeks approval from Mr. Houseman, despite how awesome he is already.

For lastly, his name is Johnny Castle.