Pretender

So I'm sitting in the library doing some homework before class, and it just feels weird.

There are still times when I walk into a classroom or building on campus and feel like I don't belong. Not in the sense that I'm not worthy or entitled to be there, but that I'm not at that stage in my life yet. Does that make sense?

I see everyone working towards a career and I sometimes forget that I'm supposed to be doing the same thing. The idea that end goal is a job, a big girl job that will allow me to provide for myself, is proving an ever elusive concept to grasp.

I've been a student for so long, that I've never lived any other way. This is the life I know. Going to class, doing homework, complaining about sucky teachers. It's comfortable. It's safe. I'm excited, don't get me wrong, but I'm scared too. As with any big change the variables are many.

I know in the end everything will work out and that I'll have an amazing life, but sometimes I just find it all baffling that I'm a senior in college, and that soon I will have earned something as major as a college degree!